


Glass Transition

by Jessepinwheel



Category: The LEGO Movie (2014)
Genre: A little bit dark, Business gets what's coming, Gen, It's not cute, Nice Is Not Good, Post-Movie(s), Revenge, Ruthless Good Cop, Starts out cute, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 09:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7751548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessepinwheel/pseuds/Jessepinwheel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<em>Good Cop?</em> I thought you were <em>dead!</em>"</p>
<p>That smile stretches just a little wider and Good Cop shrugs. "Yeah, I guess you would think that."</p>
<p>Lord Business (just Business now) goes to make amends with Bad Cop. Things don't go as expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass Transition

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Wipe It Away](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576559) by [killerweasel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel). 



> The glass transition is the point, before reaching the melting temperature, at which polymers start to soften and exhibit more liquid/rubbery physical properties instead of brittle, glass-like properties.
> 
> I watched The LEGO Movie recently (a little late on that train, but who cares?) and, as I'm wont to do, I immediately looked up fanfic to see what people had to say about it, and it seems like GCBC is one of the most intriguing characters to work with. I mean, in the movie it was an awesome gag on the two-faced figurines, but when you translate that into a story, what do you get?
> 
> Anyways, my favorite interpretation of Good Cop's character is that he's not really "better" than Bad Cop. He's just as evil, he's just a lot nicer about it. And while Bad Cop will do whatever Lord Business says because it's his job and he'll get thrown into the abyss otherwise, Good Cop wants to do what's right, even if he might have to do terrible things to get there. He won't hurt innocent people and he's always nice and hospitable, but that doesn't mean he won't do bad things.
> 
> So I wrote a story about that.

Lord Business stares at the number on the apartment door in front of him, then glances down at the scrawled address on his hand. They're the same, he's checked at least ten times by now, but that doesn't stop something from jumping in his chest when he thinks of actually _knocking_.

It's been only a week since Taco Tuesday, since he last spoke with either Good Cop or Bad Cop, since he used his artifacts to _eliminate_ Good Cop, and all he wants now is to make amends.

He's not the bad guy anymore.

But no matter how many times Business tried to apologize, Bad Cop and his fists would make it abundantly clear that any sort of civilized conversation is extremely unlikely. It hurts, because he remembers when Bad Cop and Good Cop (though mostly Bad Cop) were his most devoted servants, always on time and ready to get whatever needs to be done, at least until that whole Piece of Resistance thing. But in retrospect, it's a good thing they mucked that up, isn't it?

He checks the address again, and tries to compose himself.

He didn't think this would happen, honestly. Just yesterday, he'd called Bad Cop up (again) and asked to have a chat so they could tie up loose ends, but instead of slamming the phone down (again), Bad Cop had stayed silent for an extremely long and awkward minute before saying, "Fine."

So now Lord Business is in front of the Cops' apartment--though he supposes it's only Bad Cop now--trying to get himself together enough to _knock_.

As if he's some kind of lovesick teenager.

He takes a deep breath, in and out, then knocks sharply.

There's an extremely long pause before he hears some footsteps on the other side, then another, shorter pause before the door opens.

On the other side is...

It's not Bad Cop.

Lord Business isn't really sure _what_ it is, because that's...not a face. The eyes are crudely drawn under slightly neater glasses frames, and the mouth is possibly the most horrific smile he's ever seen. It's--it's grotesque is what it is, unnaturally wide and, oh yeah, _scribbled on_.

"Sorry about the wait," he--it?--says, his voice more than a little on the hoarse side, but clear enough for Business to recognize it.

" _Good Cop?_ I thought you were _dead!_ "

That smile stretches just a little wider and Good Cop shrugs. "Yeah, I guess you would think that." He steps back. "Come on in, make yourself at home. I've got a pot of coffee going and I think we still have some half and half left, just how you like it."

Business blinks, because the idea that anyone would have paid enough personal attention to him to know his coffee preferences without him yelling at them to is astounding.

"Hey," Good Cop says, a slightly less horrific-looking smile on his face. "Are you just going to stand there?"

Well. Despite the face, Good Cop doesn't _seem_ to have changed much. That's...good. It's certainly better than Bad Cop throwing a chair at him.

Tentatively, Business enters the apartment, and immediately he's struck by how incredibly _empty_ it looks. Military clean, bare bones without even a TV or a radio against the wall or on a shelf. No flowers, no fish, no paintings.

If this were _his_ house, he'd be decking it out with all kinds of cool stuff. But he supposes not everyone can be as cool and awesome as Lord Business, not even the Cops.

Not that he ever really thought of them as super cool, beyond how good they were at their job. But hey, that still counts!

"Here," Good Cop says as he closes the door behind them. "I'll take your jacket. It must be sweltering out there."

Business obliges and Good Cop leads him into the kitchen, which looks a little more lived-in. There's a pack of croissants on the countertop, some letters by the fridge, a plate and fork in the sink, and a roll of paper towels on the dining table, which has more than a couple of ring coffee stains on it.

Business gets the feeling that the Cops spend a lot of time here.

Good Cop goes to fish a mug out of the cupboard and Business takes a seat in the only chair. He supposes the Cops only ever needed one--Bad Cop's not the sort to have company.

Business clears his throat. "It's uh, it's good to see you, but where's Bad Cop?"

Good Cop pauses to pull out a mug, then says, "Bad Cop doesn't want to talk to you." There's no accusation in it, just simple statement of fact, maybe even a little apologetic. "You know how he is. He's still angry about Taco Tuesday."

Well, if that isn't a loaded statement. "And you're...not?" 

Good Cop slides over a mug of coffee and a little white creamer of what must be half and half, then leans back on the countertop with a shrug. "For the first few days, maybe, but not anymore. It's not good to be angry, I think. What's done is done."

Business's heart thumps in his chest. This might not be a complete disaster after all. He'll be able to apologize, Good Cop will be able to bring Bad Cop into line, and everything will be just like it used to be, minus the world-ending and megalomania.

" _Sorry I killed you!_ " he blurts out. "That was, uh, really uncool of me. Not awesome at all. You, uh, you didn't deserve that."

Good Cop's smile softens, comes together a bit more, uh, naturally. His body's relaxed, slouching just a bit where Bad Cop's would be ramrod straight. "Thank you," he says softly. "I'm glad to hear that." He takes a sip from his own mug of coffee and looks down at Business.

It's hard not to flinch as Good Cop's abyss-black gaze falls on him.

"So are we, are we cool now?" Business asks. "Like, I'm never gonna do it again, no! Ha ha! That erasing you business, really, uh..."--he loosens his tie nervously--"not great, yeah. Anger issues, you know."

Good Cop just stares at him for an extremely uncomfortable second, then puts down his mug. "Is that what you were worried about? That I'd be angry?" He doesn't sound angry at all. Just sad. Heartbroken, maybe.

Business might be projecting a little.

He swallows nervously and says, "Well, yeah, I mean. I mean, I did the, uh, the bad thing. So you might get mad. At me. Which I'd rather you didn't?" Flustered, he takes a gulp from his coffee and immediately spits it out when it's much hotter than he'd anticipated. A spray of coffee goes all over the Cops' table.

"Oh, dear," Good Cop says.

Business makes a motion to get up, but Good Cop gestures for him to stay put and grabs a paper towel.

"I'll take care of this, don't worry. Just be careful with the coffee, okay? I should have told you it was hot."

Business opens his mouth, then closes it. Right. Helpful old Good Cop. Eager to please because he was just... _good_.

It suddenly occurs to Business that he's never been in Good Cop's presence uninterrupted for so long. It's kind of an alarming realization, that Good Cop is...himself, not just some kind of hanger-on on Bad Cop like he'd thought of him.

How could he have ever wanted to eradicate this kind man?

"So you're not mad at me, right?" Business asks as Good Cop wipes the table clean.

Good Cop shakes his head. "No, I forgive you." He tosses the paper towel into the trash and looks Business dead in the eyes. "What you did was bad, Business. It was horrific and cruel and violent and I might never heal completely, but I forgive you. The whole ending the world business? Terrible and absolutely despicable." He sighs and leans against the table, right next to Business. He sets a gentle hand on Business's shoulder. "But I forgive you."

Business blinks, because that was _really easy_. "Well, in that--"

_Click._

"Unfortunately," Good Cop says, "this isn't about me."

Heart thumping, Business looks down to find that he's been handcuffed to the table.

The table which, he now notices, is bolted to the ground.

"B-but, you said you forgave me!" Business sputters, shaking his cuffed hands at Good Cop.

Is this what betrayal feels like?

"Be careful, Business, you'll cut your wrists that way," Good Cop says as he walks to the other side of the table, his voice no less light or soft than before. "Those cuffs are clean, but I don't want you to risk getting an infection."

"What's the big idea!?" Business shrieks.

"Sorry, I know it's uncomfortable," Good Cop says with an apologetic frown. "Are you hungry? Would you like me to get you something to eat?"

" _Food?_ The _handcuffs!_ "

Good Cop sips his coffee, then sets it down. His gaze on Business feels like a physical pressure. "Please, Business. Let me say my part. I want to tell you a story."

"What?" Business asks.

Good Cop says, "This is how it goes: Once upon a time, Ma Cop and Pa Cop had two sons. They taught one of their boys about duty and the other about justice, so when they grew up and wanted to become cops, too, one did it to serve the law and the other did it because it was right.

"They were darn good cops, if I may say so. They didn't always agree, it's true, but they became the best cops there'd ever been and were made Police Chief."

Good Cop takes a long drink from his mug and stares off wistfully. "It's not easy to be Police Chief; I'm not sure if you're aware. But maybe you are--you had someone else do it, after all. Hunting Master Builders, getting into fights. There's a lot of administrative work, too, making sure that all the stations are up to scratch and the robots are functioning correctly. And also--" Good Cop grins "--the interrogations."

"I don't think I want to hear this," Business says.

"Bad Cop likes interrogations a lot more than I do," Good Cop continues. "He likes to put on a show, maybe rough people up a bit. He wants criminals to be scared of him, you know? I...wasn't a fan. I don't like hurting people."

Business distinctly remembers Bad Cop letting people off more lightly than he should or would and, when questioned, would grimace in a way that said _Good Cop did it_.

"You didn't have the stomach for interrogations," Business cuts in. 

Good Cop bursts into a fit of giggles and it sounds hollow and jagged and filled with horrible things. "You thought that, didn't you?" he manages to say between breaths. "That's adorable."

"What--what's so funny?"

"Ah, nothing," Good Cop says as he wipes tears from his eyes. "But I suppose you never spent that much time in the streets, talking to all the _normal_ people. Everyone's scared of Bad Cop, but if you get into the seedier districts, _he's_ not their boogeyman. _I_ am." He shrugs. "I don't blame them. I've done some pretty bad stuff."

Something about that sentence sounds wrong. Everything about it, in fact. "But you're _Good_ Cop."

Good Cop sighs. "Business, it's just a name. Let me put this another way. When you told us to Kragle our parents, what did I tell you?"

"That, uh, they're innocent," Business says.

"You remember! That's very sweet." Good Cop looks up towards the ceiling. "No, I couldn't do it. My parents! And you wanted me to Kragle them? What had they ever done to deserve that? They'd never done a bad thing in their lives." Good Cop sighs. "But, you know, if they hadn't, if they were criminals and deserved it? I would have done it."

"Wha--But they're your parents!" Business bursts out, appalled.

"Justice _always_ comes first, Business," Good Cop says. "That's why it doesn't matter that I forgive you. What you did was very, very, very wrong." He leans over the opposite side of the table. Business tries to back away, but the handcuffs won't let him. "I want you to understand this isn't about revenge and that I'm sorry I have to do this," Good Cop says, his voice still _infuriatingly_ light and _understanding_. "This is how the law works. You do something bad, you pay restitution. Redeem yourself. Nobody's above that."

Business gulps. "Right, okay, sounds, uh. Sounds reasonable."

Good Cop smiles again. "That's right. We'll tie up those loose ends and this will all be behind us." He straightens. "You know, Bad Cop didn't want to do this so soon. I argued him out of it, because this is the _perfect_ time. We wouldn't want any of this to stew longer than necessary. Better to get it out of the way, right?"

"Yes, yeah. Definitely," Business says.

"But you know what else?" Good Cop says. "It's so soon that none of the laws have changed yet. And meanwhile, you're no longer Lord or President Business, while I'm still the Chief of Police." Something dark passes behind his eyes. "Do you remember what the punishments for crime are?"

Business's heart drops, because yes, of _course_ he remembers, he made those laws. How many times has he sent people to be dragged off by Bad Cop and his Super Secret Police?

Never to be seen again.

"Get him," Good Cop intones, and suddenly there are robots, closing in.

Business makes a face, because there's no way that he, _Great Lord Business_ was going down without a fight. Of course he'd never let his evil super secret police turn on him.

He reaches for his super secret panic switch and--

Good Cop holds up a very familiar remote. "I'm Good Cop, not Dumb Cop, Business. You always keep this in your inner jacket pocket," he says. "I did try to tell you that it wasn't smart to keep such an important item in the same place all the time, but you didn't listen to me."

"You--" Business splutters. But he...he can't deny it. He definitely vaguely remembers hearing Good Cop say something about that and then dismissing his concerns as silly.

The robots grab Business and take his cuffs off of the table. Good Cop sets the remote down and says, "Don't try to escape. I locked the door when you came in and we're on the twentieth floor. I don't want to have to hurt you, but you know how it is."

"Y-you, what happened to you!?" Business stammers as robots grab him and drag him to his feet. "You're not like this, Good Cop! You're soft, you're the weak link, you must have come back wrong, or--"

Good Cop sets a hand on his shoulder and smiles. Scribble eyes bore into him. "I know it's hard to hear, Business, but I've always been like this. You just never bothered to pay attention." He straightens and flips to Bad Cop.

"Take him away, boys."


End file.
